A Not so Merry Christmas

Ahh, Christmas.  A time that normally comes with such joy and celebration, a time I look forward to every year.  This year feels a bit different, though.  It's been a rough year.  Between the two of us, my husband and I have lost three close family members to death this year, first my grandmother, then his father, and then his maternal grandmother just passed away on Sunday.  Yes, this Christmas feels a bit different.  We know our loved ones are celebrating this Christmas with Jesus, there is no sorrow there.  But instead of recalling fond memories and looking forward to spending time with these loved ones, we are recalling the memories and feeling a bit sad that things will be so very different this year.  It's hard to move on, make new traditions, new memories without the loved ones we are so accustomed to being with, especially during the Christmas season.  It's hard to look forward to visiting family knowing that time will include a funeral, knowing there will be people missing from our already small circle of gift-opening and sharing.  There will be tears, lots of them.  Not something I look forward to, but a very real part of life.

And yet.  I love that phrase, don't you?  And yet, the reason we celebrate Christmas has not changed.  There is reason for joy and celebration, even if we are a bit sad, even if our earthly circumstances seem to override the joy of the season.  We've put this expectation on Christmas that everything should be happy, perfect and joyful.  Easy to see why so many people sink into depression during the holidays.  Because we live in a sinful world full of death, sadness, rejection, hunger, etc. etc. etc. If we expect the holidays to be joyful and all our circumstances perfect at Christmas, we are bound to be disappointed.  But if we expect Christmas to be joyful because Christ has come, then it will be.  I can celebrate in spite of my sadness because Christ has come.  I can celebrate in spite of my sadness because I know the ending of the story.  All that sin and sadness that sucks the joy out of our lives has been forgiven.  I have been forgiven and redeemed by that same little baby who's birth we celebrate at Christmas.  So, yes, I can be sad and this Christmas will most definitely be different, but I choose to celebrate.  I choose to revel in my Savior's coming and worship Him all the more.