I've been wanting to write a post about this subject for a while, but I've been too chicken. I really don't like conflict, I don't like the idea of offending anybody, I really just want to be Nice Nicole. The easy-going one who loves everybody and just likes to make others feel good. I'm afraid this post will show you a different side of Nice Nicole. Why am I finally writing this post? A friend of mine lost her parents in a tragic accident this week and two other family members are in critical condition. As tragic death always does, this week's events spurred me to evaluate what really matters in my life and what I am spending my time, efforts, money, and emotions on.
I've been disturbed lately by how easily I get caught up in the "natural health" movement. I read all the facebook posts, blog posts, magazine articles, etc. just like you all do and it's scary. They so easily have me worrying that my family is going to DIE from exposure to toxins that are in every are of our home, that I'm a horrible mom for having my children vaccinated, that sugar is the devil, that doctors and dentists are the devil, etc. etc. etc. It really is ridiculous. But all around me I watch people, young moms, myself often included, take this information and spend every last amount of time, energy, and money that they have to do all the things we are "supposed" to in order to have a healthy family. And that's where they get you, we all want a healthy family, right?
I've been going through a bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free. I realized in going through this study that I definitely fear losing my family. I stress about keeping us as healthy as possible so we will live a very long time. That's why I get so easily caught up in these health movements, completely out of fear. I also realized through this bible study that this kind of fear and worrying is sin. Beth writes, "we were created to attach and depend so that we would migrate toward God and find safety. To entice us, Satan offers us alternate attachments masquerading as fulfillments to our inner needs. Any attachment other than God is a fraud... Wrong attachment means growing dependent on something other than God." I've been attaching myself to natural, healthy living in order to keep my family healthy and safe. As if anything I do can prevent an accident or illness if God has a different plan for their lives. God doesn't want me to be worried about tomorrow or next year or the year after that. He's already told me what awaits me when I die, and in the meantime, He just wants me to consistently come to Him. That's all.
Do I think it's wrong to use non-toxic cleaners, buy organic food and take all the right supplements? No. Not that my opinion really matters, I'm just throwing it out there. But if my husband has to get a second job to pay for all those things and I spend all my time in the kitchen making everything homemade instead of pouring into my children all because I'm afraid of how my family will turn out otherwise, then, yes, it's probably wrong for me. I'll do what I can to be healthy when I have the time and money to do so, but I have to watch myself carefully to make sure it's not becoming something I attach to or depend on. To me, a healthy family means we enjoy our time together, we help each other, we respect each other, and most of all, we live and love like Jesus. We may not be the most physically healthy family, but I'd like to say we're living with hope instead of fear, God's strength instead of our strength, and in victory no matter how long or how short our lives may be.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Perfection
Ask anyone and they'll tell you that no one can be perfect. Impossible. I say the same thing, impossible, except, of course, for Jesus. Him being perfect is what makes salvation even possible! What I'm trying to figure out, though, is why we seem to strive for perfection. I know you're thinking, "I don't try to be perfect, that's impossible." That's what I've said to myself for many years now, but I seem to be finding evidence that proves otherwise. Don't worry, I'll explain.
I had kind of an aha moment this week while walking. It was the first time since last fall that I've been able to get out the stroller and walk on our road. It's just been too snowy, icy, slushy, muddy, etc. But yesterday, it was a beautiful, sunny day and the road had dried enough to walk on. Hallelujah!! Here's where the aha moment came, but you need a little history.
In the past, I've spent all day at home, moving from one task to another, not really content with my progress, always wishing there were more hours in the day, pushing my toddler away so I can get the things done that NEED to be done. I fit in a 12 minute interval workout because I just don't have time for anything else. My days just seemed to flow into one another with nothing ever really getting accomplished. Enter Flylady. I know I've mentioned her before, but you have to believe me that this is an awesome system for keeping your home clear of clutter and company ready! For the past 8 years I've used the flylady system on an off. Well, last week I decided to get on it again. Having a system just makes all the difference for me. I find that if I take 5 minutes in the morning to get dressed, get myself looking somewhat decent, wipe down the bathroom and put a load of laundry in, my whole day opens up! Otherwise, I get up, drink coffee, get on the computer and then wonder how I'm going to get everything done that needs to be done that day and 2 hours later I finally decide to get my butt off my chair. The flylady system operates under the principle that things don't have to be done perfect, they just have to get done. In the past, I've told myself that if I don't have time to dust the way it's supposed to be done, moving every object and wiping under them, cleaning the objects as I go, then I should just wait until I do have time. 2 months later, I still haven't had time to dust the way it's "supposed" to be done. The flylady way is to fly through the house with a feather duster once a week on my home blessing day (a nice way of saying cleaning day). Yes, I just move the dust around, but it sure looks a lot better than it did before and later when I do my 15 minutes of "zone work" I can dust correctly in just that one zone. Eventually it all gets done and without all the hoopla of perfection.
So here's where the aha moment came in. I had spent my five minutes wiping down the bathroom, putting a load of laundry in, I unloaded the dishwasher and did my 15 minutes of decluttering, all in 30 minutes! In the past I would have hem hawed all day about getting all this done. Sheesh. Anyways, I did all this, noticed how nice it was outside and really felt like going for a walk. Remember, I normally only give myself 12 minutes to workout because that's all I have time for. But because I had spent 30 minutes getting all those other things done, I gave myself permission to take my son and go for a nice, long walk. We stopped and looked at the ducks, I let him out of the stroller so he could walk and play. It was wonderful! I just kept thinking how normally I would have been rushing to get back because I had so much to do. Because I let go of my striving for perfection in my housework, I was able to enjoy myself and my son. And you know what? Somebody could have stopped by and my house may not have been spotless, but I would have had clean bathrooms and I wouldn't have been in my pajamas!
I guess all this is to say that in some ways, I absolutely strive for perfection. I have an idea in my head of how things should be done, what kind of mom, wife, friend, employee I should be and if I don't have the time or energy to do it correctly (perfectly), I just have to settle for being less than perfect, which usually means I don't even try. And I constantly beat myself up for this, living in this state of "not good enough!" It sounds so dumb, because I really do know that I CANNOT be perfect! Why does it not seem okay to just do what we can do? God doesn't ask for perfection, why in the world should we be striving for it? Yes, I want to be a great mom, friend, wife, employee, but if I have myself so tied up in perfectionism, I'm too afraid to actually try. I'm learning that by letting go of the perfectionism in the keeping of my home, I actually have more time and energy to put into being a good wife, mom, friend and employee. Not a perfect one, but a good one. Thank you Flylady!
p.s. check her out at www.flylady.net. I get nothing for promoting her, I just love her!
I had kind of an aha moment this week while walking. It was the first time since last fall that I've been able to get out the stroller and walk on our road. It's just been too snowy, icy, slushy, muddy, etc. But yesterday, it was a beautiful, sunny day and the road had dried enough to walk on. Hallelujah!! Here's where the aha moment came, but you need a little history.
In the past, I've spent all day at home, moving from one task to another, not really content with my progress, always wishing there were more hours in the day, pushing my toddler away so I can get the things done that NEED to be done. I fit in a 12 minute interval workout because I just don't have time for anything else. My days just seemed to flow into one another with nothing ever really getting accomplished. Enter Flylady. I know I've mentioned her before, but you have to believe me that this is an awesome system for keeping your home clear of clutter and company ready! For the past 8 years I've used the flylady system on an off. Well, last week I decided to get on it again. Having a system just makes all the difference for me. I find that if I take 5 minutes in the morning to get dressed, get myself looking somewhat decent, wipe down the bathroom and put a load of laundry in, my whole day opens up! Otherwise, I get up, drink coffee, get on the computer and then wonder how I'm going to get everything done that needs to be done that day and 2 hours later I finally decide to get my butt off my chair. The flylady system operates under the principle that things don't have to be done perfect, they just have to get done. In the past, I've told myself that if I don't have time to dust the way it's supposed to be done, moving every object and wiping under them, cleaning the objects as I go, then I should just wait until I do have time. 2 months later, I still haven't had time to dust the way it's "supposed" to be done. The flylady way is to fly through the house with a feather duster once a week on my home blessing day (a nice way of saying cleaning day). Yes, I just move the dust around, but it sure looks a lot better than it did before and later when I do my 15 minutes of "zone work" I can dust correctly in just that one zone. Eventually it all gets done and without all the hoopla of perfection.
So here's where the aha moment came in. I had spent my five minutes wiping down the bathroom, putting a load of laundry in, I unloaded the dishwasher and did my 15 minutes of decluttering, all in 30 minutes! In the past I would have hem hawed all day about getting all this done. Sheesh. Anyways, I did all this, noticed how nice it was outside and really felt like going for a walk. Remember, I normally only give myself 12 minutes to workout because that's all I have time for. But because I had spent 30 minutes getting all those other things done, I gave myself permission to take my son and go for a nice, long walk. We stopped and looked at the ducks, I let him out of the stroller so he could walk and play. It was wonderful! I just kept thinking how normally I would have been rushing to get back because I had so much to do. Because I let go of my striving for perfection in my housework, I was able to enjoy myself and my son. And you know what? Somebody could have stopped by and my house may not have been spotless, but I would have had clean bathrooms and I wouldn't have been in my pajamas!
I guess all this is to say that in some ways, I absolutely strive for perfection. I have an idea in my head of how things should be done, what kind of mom, wife, friend, employee I should be and if I don't have the time or energy to do it correctly (perfectly), I just have to settle for being less than perfect, which usually means I don't even try. And I constantly beat myself up for this, living in this state of "not good enough!" It sounds so dumb, because I really do know that I CANNOT be perfect! Why does it not seem okay to just do what we can do? God doesn't ask for perfection, why in the world should we be striving for it? Yes, I want to be a great mom, friend, wife, employee, but if I have myself so tied up in perfectionism, I'm too afraid to actually try. I'm learning that by letting go of the perfectionism in the keeping of my home, I actually have more time and energy to put into being a good wife, mom, friend and employee. Not a perfect one, but a good one. Thank you Flylady!
p.s. check her out at www.flylady.net. I get nothing for promoting her, I just love her!
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