Not Nice Nicole

I've been wanting to write a post about this subject for a while, but I've been too chicken.  I really don't like conflict, I don't like the idea of offending anybody, I really just want to be Nice Nicole.  The easy-going one who loves everybody and just likes to make others feel good.  I'm afraid this post will show you a different side of Nice Nicole.  Why am I finally writing this post?  A friend of mine lost her parents in a tragic accident this week and two other family members are in critical condition.  As tragic death always does, this week's events spurred me to evaluate what really matters in my life and what I am spending my time, efforts, money, and emotions on.

I've been disturbed lately by how easily I get caught up in the "natural health" movement.  I read all the facebook posts, blog posts, magazine articles, etc. just like you all do and it's scary.  They so easily have me worrying that my family is going to DIE from exposure to toxins that are in every are of our home, that I'm a horrible mom for having my children vaccinated, that sugar is the devil, that doctors and dentists are the devil, etc. etc. etc.  It really is ridiculous.  But all around me I watch people, young moms, myself often included, take this information and spend every last amount of time, energy, and money that they have to do all the things we are "supposed" to in order to have a healthy family.  And that's where they get you, we all want a healthy family, right?

I've been going through a bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free.  I realized in going through this study that I definitely fear losing my family.  I stress about keeping us as healthy as possible so we will live a very long time.  That's why I get so easily caught up in these health movements, completely out of fear.  I also realized through this bible study that this kind of fear and worrying is sin.  Beth writes, "we were created to attach and depend so that we would migrate toward God and find safety.  To entice us, Satan offers us alternate attachments masquerading as fulfillments to our inner needs.  Any attachment other than God is a fraud...  Wrong attachment means growing dependent on something other than God."  I've been attaching myself to natural, healthy living in order to keep my family healthy and safe.  As if anything I do can prevent an accident or illness if God has a different plan for their lives.  God doesn't want me to be worried about tomorrow or next year or the year after that.  He's already told me what awaits me when I die, and in the meantime, He just wants me to consistently come to Him.  That's all.

Do I think it's wrong to use non-toxic cleaners, buy organic food and take all the right supplements?  No.  Not that my opinion really matters, I'm just throwing it out there.  But if my husband has to get a second job to pay for all those things and I spend all my time in the kitchen making everything homemade instead of pouring into my children all because I'm afraid of how my family will turn out otherwise, then, yes, it's probably wrong for me.  I'll do what I can to be healthy when I have the time and money to do so, but I have to watch myself carefully to make sure it's not becoming something I attach to or depend on.  To me, a healthy family means we enjoy our time together, we help each other, we respect each other, and most of all, we live and love like Jesus.  We may not be the most physically healthy family, but I'd like to say we're living with hope instead of fear, God's strength instead of our strength, and in victory no matter how long or how short our lives may be.