That Friend

Today, a story.  Hopefully a story with a point, that is the goal.  This story begins in 6th grade.  Just the mention of 6th grade strikes fear in me and many others I'm sure.  It was this year that I switched from private school where I had the same friends since I was 1 to public school where I did not have 1 friend.  It was my choice to switch so don't go blaming my parents for doing this to me at such an awful time of transition in every child's life. I discovered this year just how shy I really was.  By the end of 6th grade I had 1 friend and I'm pretty sure she only befriended me because she didn't have any other friends.  We had nothing in common and she was really annoying.  It was a long year.  I have to add in here that God recently revealed to me just how much he was protecting me that year so long ago.  My teacher was an amazing man I knew from church, had known all my life and he was so kind to me.  There were a lot of bully's in my class that could have made my life miserable but they never once bothered me.  I was ahead of most of the class in a lot of areas so I never had the stress of always playing catch-up.   It was hard not having friends, but it could have been much worse.  In 6th grade I learned that it sucks to be on the outside looking in, to never quite fit in, to go about life without a friend to do it with.

Fast forward to high school.  I discovered sports, I discovered boys, I discovered extracurricular activities.  I never discovered how to fit in.  I still had a way of always being just on the outside of the circle, looking in, wondering why I wasn't on the inside, whether I really wanted to be.  Things didn't change in college.  I made friends with my teammates but our friendships seem to end outside the gym.  My roommate was never around, I didn't party, I had no idea where to fit in so I just didn't.  So, I got married.  I was a good, supportive wife following my husband wherever his job took him.  He made friends at work, I did not.  We finally settled down long enough for me to make some friends, to start feeling a part of a community when we had to move again.  That move filled me with despair and I was at a point of not wanting to even try anymore.

That's when I met That Friend.  You know, the one who pursued me, who didn't let me off the hook after one meeting.  The one who put herself out there and asked me to do things she had no idea I'd even be up for.  The one I could talk to for hours and never get bored.  The one who loved me and let me know I was worth being a friend to.  God knew I needed her and he put us in the right place at the right time.

Fast forward again.  Me and my friend don't live in the same state anymore, we don't get to talk on the phone much, but we do try to see each other whenever possible and savor every moment together.  I've recently been feeling a little lonely and left out in my community, finding myself again in a position where I just don't seem to fit in.  Wondering if I'm not good friend material, if I'm not nice enough, if I smell...I've been feeling sorry for myself.  Not an admirable thing to do.  A mentor of mine recently told me about a time in her life when she was pregnant and had moved to a new town.  She was lonely, too, but a lady at her new church came alongside her, pursued her and became That Friend to her.  It gave her a whole new lease on life.  So I got to thinking, maybe if I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I could go out and be That Friend for someone else.  Maybe we should all do that..